Farewell?
by m00-chan
Summary: [Ch.7 up!] Dean decided not to follow the Reaper and John was too late to make the pact. How does the Winchester family deal with Dean's absence? How does Dean deal with being a spirit? Possibly wincest in later chapters. Reviews appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Sadly…I do not own Supernatural.  Very sad…

**Warning:** Wincest!! Future chapters...Could be overlooked for non-wincest people though. :)

**Author's Note:** The rating may change. But please enjoy and comment!! This is my absolute first time writing supernatural fics! Hope you like!

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"No…" Dean turned, staring deep into the Reaper's eyes. "I'm not going with you. I don't care what you do."

The Reaper's eyes softened. "Well, like you said, there's always a choice. I can't make you come with me. But, you're not getting into your body. And that's just facts. So yes, you can stay. Stay here for years. Disembodied. Scared. And over the decades, it'll be probably drive you mad. Maybe you will even get violent."

Dean could feel his chest constrict. Under his breathe, he whispered, "What are you saying?" Dean inwardly cursed the sympathetic look the Reaper gave him. He can't take it, not pity from the Reaper.

The innocent eyes seemed dull in the moonlight. "Dean…how do you think angry spirits are born? They can't let go. They can't move on. And you're about to become one. The same thing you hunt."

_Become one?_ Dean clenched his fist so tightly that if he were in his fleshy body, blood would spill. _No way. No fucking way. _Disbelief seized Dean's entire being. He rubbed his eyes in frustration and cursed the predicament a mere car crash has brought unto him.

Although Dean rarely admitted it, he held his family dearly to his heart, before himself even. He simply could not leave them alone. It did not seem like an option, no matter the consequences. Since when did he, Dean, ever consider the consequences before diving into a dangerous situation?

_But this is the real deal…_Dean decided. All outcomes and possibilities must be considered. Eyes closed and darkness surrounded him. Silence.

_Sammy…_His heart hollow at the thought of leaving his little brother. He selfishly pulled Sam out of college to follow him on the search for dad. _Who knows? Maybe if I did not ask Sam to come with me…Jessica may not have died…_ Dean found it very difficult to visualize Sam and their dad together without sparks flying. An overwhelming sense of warmness overcame him; similar to the time John placed his baby brother in his arms the night of the fire. _Yes, Sam is my responsibility._ To leave, there would only be guilt. Nothing else. Dean was always Sam's stronghold ever since Jessica's death. Sam would be alone. That was not a fate he wished for his little brother.

Of course, he did not want to leave his dad. But as he was brought up, he learned to consider the job before feelings. Tears threatened to flow at that thought.He grasped the thin linen cloth on his pants and continued to ponder. _Dad…What should I do? What would you do?_ He recalled the show down with the Yellow Eyed Demon. Face contorted from the sharp pains and with tears welled up in his eyes, John demanded Sam end it. In John's eyes, there was nothing else to it: Kill the demon at all costs – even it means for Sam to kill his blood father. At that moment, he did not care if Sam's soul was damned in process.

Now, he realized what he must do. Dean was not sure whether it was the correct decision, but he was sure it was the best one. Bringing himself back to the state of consciousness, he slowly opened his eyes and adjusted to the dim light. The Reaper appeared to have been sitting quietly by his side the entire time. As if realizing Dean was done thinking, its small fingers brushed gently on Dean's back. "It's time to put your pain behind you." Its voice was slow, but showed its urgency for an answer. But it cared hoped Dean would choose to come with her.

More than a little hopeless and unsure of himself, he looked away. "And go where?"

"Sorry", the Reaper sighed, "I can't give away the big punch line."

"The moment of truth." Dean's head dropped and the Reaper stopped rubbing his back. "No changing your mind later. So what's it going to be?"

Dean held his breathe. This was it. _Are you sure Dean? But either way, Is there even a good or bad decision here? _He let out a long sigh. _I guess not…Dammit…_He uttered three barely audible words. The Reaper could not hear.

"What did you say?"

After saying it once, Dean felt his confidence increase. He felt empowered. "I am staying."

The Reaper's smile faded and its eyes screamed in despair. "Why?" Earnestly tugging at Dean's shirt, it pleaded. "Please Dean. Don't. Don't make me watch you suffer. I've seen so many…Just, please."

Dean refused to be moved by the Reaper's words. "I will not runaway. I refuse to leave Sam here by himself. Like I said before, he can die without me being there. I will see this living hell through with him. I refuse to disappoint my dad. I swore to finish this job and I will do so. If my soul will be damned, so be it. Once the job is over and I turn into an vengeful spirit, I trust my family to set me free."

"Dean…you're not your family's living sacrifice." Even though a Reaper was not suppose to feel, Dean felt like the Reaper in front of him was about to cry. "You shouldn't feel responsible to uphold everything. They wouldn't want you to do this."

"Ch. Do I ever listen?"

"Dean!" Its once tiny girl voice changed into a deep, angry man voice. The powerful voice bellowed, "If you don't take this chance, your soul has a great chance of being condemned in the future! You will not be able to reincarnate!"

Dean licked his dried lips. _Didn't even know reincarnation existed._

"If you come with me, you can reunite with your family in the future. You will, Dean!"

Dean paused and even considered this. But even if he reincarnated, will he still be Dean? How can anyone guarantee anything will be the same? Trust the words of the Reaper to coerce him into leaving? Right now, he was Dean. And this is what Dean wanted to do.

"Damn you, Reaper! You freaking said I had a choice in all this and I made that choice! I choose to stay! Now leave!" The Reaper immediately seemed changed into a shade of black and faded away. Dean will forever remember the Reaper's look of disappointment.

"DEAN!!" Dean's entire being shuddered at hearing the pure horror and panic in the voice. He immediately dashed to its source. Sam.

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"Oops." The Yellow Eyes Demon glanced toward the ceiling and sneered. "Sorry John. Looks like you were too slow." It began mockingly snickering at John.

John's eyes widened and a cold chill ran down his spine. His right hand grasped tightly on his hospital shirt, threatening to tear the piece of clothing. "What are you talking about?" The demon continued his horrifying laugh. "I don't see what's so amusing! Just cut me the deal, dammit! You here me?!"

"I'm sorry Johnny boy. You were so close to saving your son. Apparently, even the Reaper has given up on Dean. Now he will die. Too bad. I was actually buying into our little deal too." The man screamed and black mist poured out of his open mouth, dissipating into the vents. John covered his eyes to shield himself from the wind. "So long John."

Suddenly, the stairs echoed a sorrowful shout from a very anguished Sam upstairs. "DEAN!!" John did not even question what had happened with the Yellow Eyed Demon. Something had happened. He ran as fast as his legs could take him up the stairs to find his sons.

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Doctors rushed into the room upon hearing the erratic heartbeat monitor alarm go off. They immediately brought the electric shocker over, ready to restart Dean's heart.

It took several nurses to push Sam out of the room. Sam knew screaming, protesting, and yelling at his brother at this point was useless. But he had to try, no matter what. He hoped his voice could reach his brother. "Dean! DEAN!! Don't you dare die on me! You can't leave me! DEAN!" His heartbeat quickened and his head spun. His heart felt like tearing into pieces. The tears that Sam had withheld suddenly splattered messily all over his face. There was no way he was breathing and standing right now. Absolutely no way. He was suffocating.

Sam could not tear his eyes away from Dean's lifeless form. The several seconds felt like eternity. He whimpered Dean's name over and over in between his sobbing. Out of nowhere, two strong hands pulled Sam's head down onto a shoulder. Sam made no attempt to look at whom it was. He recognized the scent, a scent from a long, long time ago when he was a small child. It was his dad. John used to gently hug Sam in a similar fashion whenever Sam encountered some type of traumatic experience, such as his first hunt. Actually, at that time, Sam did feel like a helpless child again.

John tried to stifle his own tears from falling and stared into the room. Five minutes had passed and the monitor confirmed John's worst fears.

The doctors stopped. "Okay. Call it." One doctor glanced at the watch on his wrist. "Time of death 9:47 PM."

Sam let out an excruciating yell, sending looks from everyone in the hospital. He began pounding hard on John's back. "No!! Dean! Come back. Don't leave me alone…" His legs gave out and John slowly lowered the limp body onto the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy…I'm so sorry." John held dearly onto his remaining son. "Dean…" He shut his eyes and held onto Sam.

Dean knelt besides his family. He reached out to touch them but held his hand back.

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_Feedback would be absolutely appreciated! __Reviews motivation to keep at it. :D __I'm really excited to keep at this story. More angst coming.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Again, I do not own Supernatural!

**Warning:** Wincest!! Later chapter though…

**Author's Note:** Thank you so much steamfan , Pippin1984 , Ryla Dante , twigletmoo , and Harper's Pixie for your awesome reviews! This upcoming chapter focuses on the emotional roller coaster our fellow Winchesters go on. Bear with me that this chapter is relatively short and contains little action. But I felt like this small aftermath deserved a chapter by itself. Enjoy!!

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A few sympathetic nurses walked towards John and offered to bring his already fainted son into a nearby room for some rest. John gave his son a tight squeeze and reluctantly lifted Sam towards the nurses' outstretched hands. It was a relatively difficult task, as John's arms seemed to have been robbed of all their strength.

Dean rubbed his eyes in frustration. He felt powerless, watching his little brother cry for his big brother to come back and his father losing control right before his eyes. Just watching was a heart wrenching experience. In their own ways, John and Sam had always appeared so incredibly fragile. Right now, Dean was the reason for their breakdown.

"Dean…"

Upon hearing his name, he looked up. "Dad…"

John needed to confirm with his own eyes that this was not an illusion pulled by some demon. Dragging his numb legs along the smooth linoleum surface, John gradually made his way over to what was now Dean's deathbed. His breath quickened with every step. He could hear his heart drumming in his ears. Every fiber of his being twisted, telling him not to go there. Because going there meant acknowledge the reality of everything. It will make Dean's death real.

He could hear his words resounding in his mind, ridiculing him for his failure. "No one else is dying. This ends…now." He forced his heavy eyelids open to gaze upon Dean's limp figure. It was awkward to see Dean, who was always full of quirks and life, in such a state. His skin became paler as time passed. Coldness and emptiness filled the air. It was real. Kneeling by the bedside, he clutched onto Dean's hand, massaging the already cooling flesh with his thumb. His head lay on the small hand.

"I failed you Dean…" Wet droplets dropped onto Dean's hand. "I'm sorry…so sorry son…"

"Dad!….Dad!!……DAD!!!" Dean knew his voice could not reach his dad, no matter how much he screamed for him. "Come on dad…don't do this…Just…stop…"

John managed one more apology and his voice gave out. All resistance to cry broke down. _It wasn't supposed to end this way. Not at all…I should have been the one to go. Not you…God help him. Help him…_He winced from the constriction in his chest. Without even knowing, John was hiding his anguished face from Dean, saving Dean a little pain.

Abruptly, Dean took off, running through the hallways. He could not stand gazing upon his once strong, warm, and loving father's now small, helpless form. It was too much for him to bear. Using his arm, he wiped the wetness in his eyes. _Sam…Sam…_

Following his instincts, he entered a room labeled "707". "SAM! Oh god please hear m—." He paused, seeing the empty bed. Wrong room. He turned only to stop after hearing a familiar sniffle. His eyes eagerly searched the room and found Sam huddled in the corner, burying his face in his propped up knees. Sam held his knees close to his chest.

"Sammy…?" Dean cautiously moved towards his brother. If Sam could sense him, he did not want to startle his younger brother. However, he received no response from Sam.

"Damn you, Sammy…!!" He cursed under his breath. Pent up anger from the past days built up. Dean lashed out. "Don't be like this!! Stop crying! Had dad not taught us anything? Have you learned anything over the past years? No crying!! STOP CRYING!!"

Sam seemed to respond to Dean's negative energy and dug deeper into his knees, trying to be small, insignificant, and invisible.

Slightly taken aback, Dean remembered the Reaper's words. _And you're about to become one. The same thing you hunt. _He breathed deep through his lungs and calmed himself. Although Dean felt the urge to turn away, he knelt next to his brother and spoke as softly as he could. He placed all his strength into his words, praying for Sammy to hear. "_Sammy_..."

A warm sensation coursed through Sam's body. "_Sammy…_" He swore he could have heard the wind call his name. He searched earnestly in the room for some kind of sign. . "…Dean?"

Dean's eyes widen. _He could hear me…_It was the best news Dean had received yet. Maybe, somewhere inside of himself, Dean had abilities too. Either way, he was grateful.

Sam's one word conveyed all sorts of emotions and messages. Dean could hear it. '_Are you here? Did you go? Stay with us. Stay with me. Don't go. I need you._' For the first time, Dean summoned all his courage and reached out to touch Sam. His hand fell through Sam's body and Sam whimpered.

Dean stopped, scared to hurt his little brother. He then realized how rarely the brothers had even touched, how high and strong their inner walls were, and how distant they have been since reuniting to hunt. Dean regretted the many times he refused Sam's wish to share. He wanted so much to embrace Sam, tell him he was here, and to feel the warmth Sam's bright smile emitted.

"Dean…" Sam was in despair and lost. He was desperate. _Answer me…if you're here_.

Carefully, Dean wrapped his arms around Sam's frail body without actually touching him. After several minutes had passed, Dean smirked at the sight. Sam had fallen asleep from the exhaustion. Although still filled with sadness and uneasiness, Sam's expression reminded Dean of Sam's childhood days.

Typically, after something happened, like some neighborhood kids bullied Sam, Dean would flash Sam a cheeky smile and rub Sam's head, telling him, "It's okay! Big brother Deanie's got your back!" Sam would blink through his tears and offer a small grin to show he was not beaten. _I want to make you proud_.

"We'll get through this Sammy. I promised." Dean stayed with his brother. Even after a few nurses carried Sam back onto the bed a few moments later, Dean stayed by his side.

Maybe others would have called it selfish, that Dean chose to stay with his brother rather than his dad because he felt a tinge of comfort after finally being heard. Either way, he chose to stay.

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_Whew…I was feeling really nervous writing the Sam and Dean moments. It feels really difficult to convey their brotherly love right. I try really hard to stay away from being too sappy. I promise the plot will develop in the later chapters! _

_Please review and tell me what you think! Like I said before, reviews are motivation :) But finals are coming up and I will have maybe, a week or so of absense. -is shot- But I swear to fellow readers, I'll be back! With christmas break coming, I'm in gear for writing!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Supernatural not mine…

**Warning:** Wincest later.

**Author's Note:** In this chapter, we will get John and Sam angry moments, plus more conversations between Dean and Sam. Lots of dialogue.

Harper's Pixie: Aww…I'm so touched! Hard to believe my writing could make someone cry! But then again, we're talking about the Winchester boys here.

Pippin1984: laughs That was one of my worst fears! I was a scared rabid Dean fans would kill me for killing Dean… Well, nothing is really _dead_ in the Winchester's lives. :

Steam Rolled Harry Potter: ;D Be assured that Wincest will not occur until further in the story. I feel like with Dean's death, the boys will learn to really value each other. But I definitely take non-wincest supporters into consideration. Promise to make it worth your while to read

Ryla Dante: I feel for you! Sam/Dean usually means Stab in the heart!! It's especially because the boys are so loveable that it tugs at our hearts so…Inspiration to write this fic!! Oh yeah, checking your story. ;D

Charmedp3123: I feel really bad taking Dean away from Sammy. :( It makes me sad too… Somehow I feel like Sam would take Dean's death harder than John. I'm not sure why. tear

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The more you try to be strong, the more I see your weakness.

The more you bear your fangs, the more I see your pain.

You can be yourself. I'll accept you.  
You don't have to be afraid, because I know you.

Because I understand why your crying looks like you're smiling.

And why your smiling looks like you're crying.

- Kiss o' kill -

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Sam had woken up after many hours of falling in and out of sleep. He propped up his pillow, sat up in bed, and fumbled with the blanket sheets. His eyes were empty and lips pressed tightly together. He had not said a word, but Dean knew what Sam was doing - thinking. Yet, Dean could not figure out what was going in his little brother's head. Sam's face was usually so easy to read. Not anymore.

John stumbled into Sam's room. Sam looked up. Both of their eyes were swollen, puffy, and red. Neither made a comment on it. "Hey Sam…"

"Hey…" Sam smiled a bit and gazed out the window.

John pulled a chair nearby and sat down. "How you holding up?"

"Alright. I guess." Sam swallowed his words.

"Good…Good..." Then there was an awkward silence, except Dean's dissents, which the other two could not hear.

Desperately waving his hands in front of John's face, he angrily protested, "God Dad! Sammy's not all right! Talk to him! Don't let him off like that!"

John's mouth gaped open, as if about to say something, before Sam beat him to it. "So, Dean's dead." Sam cleared his sore throat and looked at his dad. "Where do we go from here?"

Dean was taken back. Did Sam just put aside his death, just like that? _Is that it?_

"Well, we should definitely stay here for a few days…for Dean's funeral…"

"But we don't have time for that right?"

John paused. "What?"

"We need to keep moving, right? Before the feds catch on our con act…and the demon gets any farther on the trail?"

Sam's words stung. John jumped out of his chair and grabbed hold of Sam's collar, pulling their faces close. "I will not allow you to dismiss Dean's death that way Sam! I WON'T! Now you listen here, Dean _will_ get a proper funeral and we WILL be there to see him off! Do you understand me?!" Sam's eyes shone equally defiantly.

"Yeah? So us and what army would be at the funeral?! Huh? No one! It would NOT be a glorious funeral, dad. It would be empty. It would not make a freaking difference to Dean if he had a funeral or not!! This life we live…we don't have time to grieve for every single death in battle. Don't you make me remind you, YOU were the one who taught me to put the job before everything else dad. This job meant as much to Dean as it did to you. So don't you DARE patronize me!!" Sam shoved John away and his eyebrows furrowed. Irritated and restless, Sam grounded his teeth together and waited for a response.

_Oh Sam…This isn't you…_Dean could hear the lies in Sam's words.

John's eyes widened at Sam's outburst. He furiously shook his head. "No, Sam. That's not what I meant…"

"Oh so now that one of your sons has died, you decided to change all your life ideals?"

"No!"

"Then what?!"

"Sam, you're way out of line! All you're saying is bull!"

"What part of it? Nothing I said was contradicting to any of the ideals you have tried instilling upon us throughout our lives!"

_Stop fighting…_Dean tried covering his ears but it was useless.

"Well if that's what you really believe then LEAVE! Keep going on the goddamn hunt! But I am going to Dean's funeral whether you're going or not!"

"FINE!" Sam threw off the covers and darted pass John without a good-bye. He did not stop to turn back. He just ran and ran.

_No…No… _Words that he had not meant spat out of his mouth uncontrollably. John silently watched his son run off. He fell on his knees. He felt the world was completely out of his control. _Come back Sammy. Come back…_ His voice fell short.

Dean followed Sam out of the hospital. He dearly prayed that somehow, he could change Sam's mind. Even if the idea of a funeral had always sounded completely silly to Dean , he felt a funeral could help give his dad and Sam some closure.

Sam sprinted, using every muscle in his body. _I need to get out…! _He needed to move, to release the tension, and to get fresh air. He ran until his body gave out. He tripped over a crooked-cement on the sidewalk and crawled into the alley to avoid getting in the way of pedestrians. Although he had slapped his palms straight into the rocky floor, he was dull to the sensations.

Sam propped one of his knees up, stretching out the other. Abruptly, tears welled up in Sam's eyes and streamed down his bony cheeks. "I'm sorry dad." He shut his eyes. One hand squeezed part of his shirt. His chest was hurting. The drumming in his head never stopped. His mind was not in its right place.

"Mom's gone…" Sniffle. "Jessica's gone…Now Dean's gone." Sob. "I lost dad too…" _Everyone around me…is gone. _Similar to before, Dean watched as Sam pull his knees close and bury his face into them. Dean could not stand Sam's look of defeat resignation.

"_Sam!_"

Sam looked up again. "…"

"_God dammit! Why do you have to be so difficult?!"_

"…Dean?"

"_Hey there kiddo._"

"Oh god, Dean, you're here?" Clearly ashamed to be crying in the presence of his brother, Sam quickly wiped the snot and tears on his sleeves. He searched aimlessly in the midst of the air for face to match the voice.

Dean sat next to Sam, leaning back on the cold stonewall. "_Sorry, don't think you can see me_."

"Dean…What happened? I mean…how could…how could you give up on me like that?"

"_I didn't. Dude, notice I'm still here man! And boy, let me tell you, it's no fun being invisible man!"_

"Dean, stop it." Sam bit his lower lip. Sam sobbed. "You're gone…"

Dean firmly answered, "_Do I have to tell you again? I'm still here. Okay? I'm not gone._"

"But this is different Dean…You're _dead_." Sam cringed at the last word, like the reality of it sunk in.

"_Thanks for reminding me…_" Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. "_But there's nothing I can do about it._"

Sam hid his face in embarrassment. He felt small, weak, and vulnerable. He needed the assurance. "Dean, don't go. Please, don't go."

"_I won't Sammy. Promise._" Out of nowhere, sudden serge of drowsiness came over Dean. Even though he was a spirit, Dean felt tired and sore all over. He grunted.

"Dean?" Sam was panic-stricken. "Dean, what's wrong?"

"_Nothing. Just…_go talk to dad." Before Dean knew it, he had drifted into slumber and fell lying flat on the street.

The last part fell short on Sam's ears. He could no longer hear Dean. Sam continued calling out but no one replied. His small hope had been diminished. _I must be delusional…_ His hands squeezed into a tight fist, knuckles turning white. _Dean isn't here…_

He decided that conversation had never existed. He just missed his brother too much and his mind was playing games on it. _That's it…_ He shook his head, as if to wake himself up from the dream.

Sam reached into his pockets and found his wallet with a few credit cards inside. He decided to stop by a nearby motel and kick in for the night. He headed out of the hallway, leaving his spirit brother lying on the ground.

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_I notice I tend to write very little of Sam's perspective. I think it's because I wanted to play out the scenes opposite to the actual series, where the audience could never truly understand what was going through Dean's head. Now, Sam is the one who needs to deal and trying to infer his thoughts from his actions is way more interesting. Is this working?_

_Either way, here's chapter 3. Is this length good? Geez, I'm a paranoid writer! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!  Like I always say, please review! Love feedback!_

_PS: Although in the last chapter, I claimed to be absent for a week or so, I never stick to my word…Bah. Anyways, so repeating what I said, I have finals coming up so I probably will be absent for a week or so. But I WILL BE BACK! This time, I think it will be for real. XD So be back soon!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** I tend to like to insert random lyrics from songs in the fic. :) This time is the translation lyrics from the Japanese song Jewel. Also, forgive me for the dark turn in events! With all the tragedies happening to Sam, he may not be so strong like everyone thinks he is. Well this fic exposes all Sam's wounds. -Hugs Sam- I'm sorry Sammy!

Many thanks to fellow reviewers!

Steam Rolled Harry Potter: Thanks for staying in tune!

Pippin1984: Sam and John's relationship is so complicated. Such a mix of love and hate...I think they just can't express themselves right. Always hope to portray the characters right

Harper's Pixie: Oh boy, you're gonna want to hug Sam so bad in this chapter. D:

Wcfan: We all love Dean. It's such a tragedy I just killed him like that huh? This family would have so much trouble coping with the death and I fear getting too much into that and losing the plot of this story too. -stratches head-

Becky Greenleaf: Thanks a lot for your support! It's going to be difficult developing the story into wincest with Dean being ghosty and all. Not to mention I make these boys so angsty... But that's the fun of the fic and hope you'll see the fic through. :D

blink182rule: WOW! That's crazy!! Actually the idea kind of came to me through a dream too! The irony in that! –laughs-

Ryla Dante: Oh yes. I am a very paranoid writer. It's like I'm never satisfied with what I write! Arg...And I'm going to try to keep up with these review responses on the chapters. I always think these are more effective than just replying in the review page. I shall work on making my chapters longer! Promise!

Twigletmoo: With holidays coming up, I'm ready to write! Updates are going to be coming at you like a rocket!! Be prepared! -laughs- Thanks for your reviews!

Charmedp3123: There's going to be more Dean centric soon. As soon as John and Sam begin to accept Dean's death, we can move along to solving Dean' s issues. Stay tuned!

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_**Recommended music to play while reading:**_

_Apocalyptica – Nothing Else Matters_

**_Download link:_** megaupload . com /?dV7PQYQXB

Lovely cover of metallica's song by quartet of cellos.

_---------------------_

John sat in a chair in the hospital room where Dean's body used to be. Rubbing his sore joints, he tiredly stared at the empty bed. The truth in Sam's words had begun to sink in. '_So us and what army would be at the funeral?! Huh? No one! It would NOT be a glorious funeral, dad. It would be empty. It would not make a freaking difference to Dean if he had a funeral or not!!_'

He squeezed his hands tightly. Sam was right. The funeral would be pathetic with just one, maybe two, people participating. Either way, he was in no position to organize any funeral. No cash, no participants, and no Pastor Jim to give final words meant little hope of any funeral. In his shaking hands, he held the copy of the signed confirmation of Dean's body cremation. Without thinking, he tore the paper to pieces.

John was done in this town. There was no reason to stay here anymore. He felt hollow. Unlike before, he had no plan as to for what to do. But he knew one thing for sure. Heading out the hospital, John flipped out his cell phone and dialed Sam's number. Sam was all had had left. Fueled by more emotions than he ever felt before, he was determined to hold on to Sam like he never did before.

Suddenly John's phone was intercepted by an incoming call. It was Missouri. John assumed Missouri already knew what was happening. "Hello?"

"John!! Oh god John! You need to find Sam!"

John's eyes widened. "What? What's happening? Tell me!"

_---------------------_

After a few hours, Dean finally stirred from his slumber. He peeked out and the glaring light of night blinded him.

A businesswoman walked pass. "Excuse me…" Dean's fingers fell through the woman's body as she walked pass. "Holy shit! What the fuck…?!" It just struck Dean that he was no longer alive. "Oh that's just damn perfect!" He spun around aimlessly, passing through numerous people in the crowd. A chill ran down everyone's spine but they continued as if nothing happened. "I'm never going to be used to this…Ahh whatever…"

His mind was spinning but nothing felt different sleeping as a spirit or as a human. The strangeness of it all was Dean realize he fell asleep simply because he was tired. It wasn't pain or anything of the sort. Shaking it off, he remembered Sam.

Dean dashed down the road and stopped. _I wonder can I fly?_ He concentrated hard for several seconds. "Come on! Work!" Nothing. _DAMN! This spirit thing sucks!_ He ran again. The only real benefit in his case was Dean no longer needed to breathe. He was never short of air. _Go figure._ Again, Dean followed his instincts to find Sam. He never questioned how they work since after all, he hadn't been wrong yet. He arrived at a dingy small motel. Even half the lights on the motel's name were out.

Upon entering Sam's room, Dean noticed three things. First, Sam had rented a room for two, like before. Second, Sam was lying in bed near the door, Dean's bed. Dean had always pushed to have the bed near the door. It was some kind of overprotective brother issue. Sam never questioned it. Third thing was Sam's cell phone ringing. But Sam was not bothering to answer it. It rung for a few more seconds and the ringing stopped. Dean sauntered over.

_...Breathing calmly, I looked at you, who had fallen into deep sleep..._

Without a change of clothes, Sam slept in his torn up jeans, dirty heavy brown jacket, and layers of collared shirts. On his stomach, he lay down with his face smashed against the soft pillow and hands clutched onto blanket sheets, craving for warmth.

…_Your body, exhausted, seemed to fade before my eyes. _

_No one in the world except me knows your sweet, unprotected profile..._

"Dean…" Sam muttered quietly. Dean's heart softened. Only Sam had this strange effect on him. As corny as it sounded, the idea of someone in this disgusting and frightening world truly holding Dean's existence at heart touched a deep part of him. Sam's utter devotion to his brother was true. Sometimes, Sam's innocence even scared Dean. It was blinding.

Tears gently rolled down Dean's cheeks. It was the first time Dean allowed himself to cry ever since he died. Emerald green eyes glistened in the dim light. He sat next to Sam on the bed. The brothers were experiencing a closeness they never had before, each person exposing their defenseless faces. Yet, they were so distant at the same time.

"I'm right here Sammy… Right here. Sam I'm sorry. I mean I wish there really was another way I could have... well, you know... stay. But this was the only thing I could think of and...Hell maybe I'm just being selfish. But I'll always be here. Do not forget that. You're not alone..."

Sam made heart-wrenching sounds in his sleep. "Can you hear me?"

---------------------

Surrounded by a bloody red light, Sam stood alone. Voices screamed devilish noises in his mind. Sick feelings sank in his stomach. Guilt. He was unsure of what was happening. Lost.

Jessica and Mary's bloodied up bodies appeared in front of him.

"How could you not tell me Sam?"

"I was your family..."

"I deserved the truth!"

Unable to meet their glares, Sam fell on his knees, hands covering his face. Their verbal attacks continued at full force. Sam's eyes wrung dry. "--sorry."

"You should never have been born!"

"Everyone around you dies!"

"You cursed child!"

Out of nowhere, a knife pierced through Sam's chest from behind. Slowly, he turned around, meeting his killer's eyes. Dean.

"Good-bye Sammy..." Dean released his grip on the handle and shoved Sam to the ground. "Forever."

Sam watched his brother's murderous eyes as he fell. Coldness ran all over his body. The world had seemed to stop.

---------------------

Sam's eyes popped open, sweat running down his face. He turned over, elbow covering his tear stained face. After a few minutes of silence, Sam got out of bed and stepped into the bathroom. He sat against the door and pulled out a hand knife Dean had urged him to carry for precaution. Long fingers pulled the sleeve down his elbow. Sam's eyebrow creased. Eyes carefully observed the pale skin along his wrist.

The calm moments had taken a turn for the worst. Dean's heart must have skipped a beat. Horror was written all over Dean's face. Realization hit Dean like 10,000 lbs of bricks. Dean ran over to Sam's side, desperately trying to take the sharp object from Sam's hand. "Stop Sam! Please!! This won't end anything! Think about dad! Please!! NO!"

Sam positioned the sharper end of the blade at the base of his left wrist. Slowly, he made a small incision. Warm blood oozed from the wound, dripping down. The bright red color sharply contrasted with his white skin. He tilted his head in confusion. Unlike other injuries he had received from battle, this wound was not painful.

"Sam! Sam stop!"

Sam made another cut underneath the last one. He dropped the knife on the floor and stared blankly in the air. "Let it end..."

Precious time was passing by. Dean frantically covered the wound with hands, wishing with all his might that he could stop the bleeding. "Sam…" Dean bit his lower lip. "You're an _idiot_…"

Sam turned towards Dean, faintly smiling. "Dean…There you are."

_He can see me? Oh god...he's dying! _Dean severely screamed. "_Sam you get your freaking ass out of the bathroom and fix this right now! That's an order!_"

"Dean...I miss you..."

"_I'm not letting you die!_" Although tears stung Dean's eyes so bad, Dean refused to remove his hands from the wound, not even for a second.

Sam frowned. "You're crying…"

"_Damn right I'm crying! Sam. This is stupid! You can't die!_"

Sam's body felt light, as if he was floating. "But don't you want me with you? We can be with mom…and Jessica too. Together." Visions of Mary and Jessica's accusing expression flashed through Sam's mind. "Or maybe you guys don't want me near you anymore…"

"_Snap out of it! We're family Sammy! Course I want us to be together! But you're leaving a lot behind!_"

"..."

"_What about dad? Have you ever considered what it will mean leaving him behind?!_"

"Dad? He doesn't care about me…"

"_Do you honestly believe that? Do you really think that Dad does not care? He does Sam, just like you do him! You guys are just too stubborn to even show it!_"

"Dean...I'm tired." Sam closed his eyes. "I'm really tired big brother..." Sniffle. "Everyone is gone. There's not future for me anymore…"

Sam had not called him 'big brother' for ages. He was reverting back into a child. Dean was so scared. "_I know Sammy. I know._" One hand held onto the wound while the other attempted to cradle Sam's head in the air. "_But remember I'm always with you, no matter what. So you must live. Promise me you will._"

"But Dean...you're gone. How would that possible?"

"_We went over this already Sam! I'm dead! Not gone! Comprehend?_"

Clearly, it was not registering in Sam's already empty head. "I love you Deanie…"

Quoting Sam before Dean passed away, Dean yelled, "_Don't you dare die on me!_" A small light emitted from Dean's hand. The bleeding somehow had begun to slow down.

"Dean…you doing that?" Sam smiled. "It's warm…"

Thankful that Sam was gaining a bit of consciousness again, Dean gave a pathetic grin. "_Big brother Deanie's got your back... Remember?_" Compared to those childhood days, the entire line came out with much less confidence.

"Dean?"

"_Yeah?_"

"I'm sorry."

"_What are you apologizing for?_"

After a few seconds, Sam remained quiet.

"_Sam?_"

Only quiet breathing sounds.

"_SAMMY!_" Dean held tighter on the wound. Sam had lost too much blood.

Abruptly, the motel door slammed open with another loud yell of "SAMMY". It was John.

He immediately ran to the bathroom. The scenery horrified him. It wasn't just anyone's puddle of blood on the floor now. It was his son's. He snapped himself back to reality and began patching up Sam's arm with bandages.

Dean eagerly moved aside for John to tend to Sam's wounds. "Thank god you came dad! Sammy...Oh god...Sam lost too much blood." Dean shook his head with disappointment in no one but himself. "You have to hold on little brother..."

"Oh Sam…I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm so sorry…" He carried Sam from the bathroom floor and wrapped him up as much blankets as he could to retain body heat. He needs blood. Quickly dialing 9-1-1, he paced back and forth in the room. "I need an ambulance! My son, he's bleeding...HURRY!"

Dean and John hovered over Sam's frail body, wishing that they were not too late.

---------------------

_This chapter got me quite depressed in the end. So fellow readers, I'm suffering with you. :( Sam doesn't deserve this torture! –shoots self- But besides how dark the fic is, I was quite satisfied with how it turned out._

_Love to hear your response!_

_On the side note, I just got my Season 1 DVDs today for Christmas present! -total Supernatural inspirational mood-_


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** This time I used lyrics from Evanescence's My Immortal. Lovely song. And sorry for the long wait guys! Distraction from the DVDs and my own writer's block makes updating take a little longer than usual. But good god, I believe Supernatural is taking over my life. I'm dreaming about it too! Anyways, I digress. Enjoy guys!

Much thanks to awwweesooome reviewers!!

Daisymaygirl1: There's no Supernatural if there is not angst!

Onari: I absolutely agree!! In Season 2 especially, I feel like Sam is disregarded just because Sam decides to share his pain and Dean doesn't. Sam deserves more credit and we know he is just as willing to give his life for Dean as Dean would for Sam. They're relationship is really sweet and deep!

Steam Rolled Harry Potter: Thank you so much! This chapter made me all edgy inside, cause I killed one of Winchesters and I wasn't willing to kill off another. But with what they go through, I find it hard to believe they never attempted suicide before. Sammy is a perfect example – emotional and warm loving guy. –Hugs-

Harper's Pixie:D You're just going to have to wait and see how it develops! –laughs evilly- Thanks for continuously following up with this fic! I promise I'll fix him!

wcfan: Yup. I guess you could say Sam was in limbo. But got to give credit to Missouri right? Thanks god she called! And aww...I do hope you get your DVDs soon! I'm addicted to watching it all over again! –laughs- You must get them!!

Ryla Dante: Eek. Don't hurt me! It's surprising how many people responded with that being the best chapter! But if even the writer gets depressed over writing it, it definitely means something right? I do wish Season 2 would refocus on Sam more though. As much as I absolutely love Dean, the show cannot survive without Sam. No no. I'll fix him! You'll see!

_---------------------_

The Winchesters' tragic tale had spread throughout the hospital. The story of how the threesome family came in from a car crash, lost the older son, and returned the day after with the possibility of losing the younger son as well. Curious nurses and doctors stopped by the room once in a while to check out the younger son's progress.

John chose to ignore those nosy glances and concentrate on watching for any signs of changes to Sam's condition. The doctors had given Sam several pints of blood and bandaged the gashes on his wrist. '_His condition is stabilized, for now. The most worrisome thing is his mental state. Once he wakes up, please call me so I can call for a psychologist. She can help make sense of why your son...attempted suicide._' John gave his thanks and fell silent. He was lost in thought, trying to think of what to say to his son once he woke up.

Several hours passed until Sam finally woke up. He spotted John from the corner of his eye and turned away.

"Sam...You don't have to say anything. Just, hear me out." At the other side of the room, Dean eyed his father carefully, praying John would choose his words wisely this time.

Sam licked his dry lips and pretended not to care. He didn't feel particularly angry, just ashamed to be seen so weak. It was like he was admitting defeat after maintaining a strong face in front of his dad during the argument.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier. You're right." Sam blinked, utterly surprised to hear those words come out of his father's mouth, especially directed at him. "In this job, there is not time to grieve. No time to give a fallen soldier the honor he truly deserves. So I've asked the hospital to...cremate the body..."

Dean's eyeballs could have popped out. "You what?! Well I wouldn't know what else you could have done with a dead corpse but good god. Dad! You toasted me?!" He muttered some other incoherent words and paced back and forth, waving his hands around in frustration.

Sam clenched his fist, anger brewing up. "I didn't even get to see him one last time! You cremated Dean's body?!" John folded his hands.

"How could you? That's not fair dad! See? You always decide things before discussing it with us! We're NOT children anymore! You can't just over look us like before! We're...We're..." Sam stopped. "No...I..." His head dropped down. _I want to see Dean again..._

"I've requested for the hospital to return the ashes. I know it's not the same but...Dean's always with us. You know that right?"

_Selfish bastard..._Sam curled his lips, biting back any harmful words that might force their way out.

"I should have talked to you first. It's just, I'm so used to making decisions by myself. You know... I'm just making excuses." John laughed softly. "I'm sorry. In the end, there's no way to make up for my absence in your lives."

John paused to catch his breath and continued. "I feel guilty like hell. I remember telling myself. '_No one else is dying!_' Well, now my own son is dead. I feel like, his blood is on my hands." Sam sympathized with his dad in that factor. "And after everything, Dean must have thought I deserted him…"

"Didn't you?" John's head shot up and met Sam's bold eyes. Sam repeated, "Didn't you desert him?" Dean didn't understand where this conversation was going.

"...Yes...Yes. I did desert him. But you see. There was something I had to confirm, and it wasn't smart to bring you boys along the trip. It wasn't safe. I trusted Dean to do the job right, to hunt the paranormal bitches and protect you when I'm gone. He did. And my god, I am so proud of him. I'm sorry I loaded him with so many responsibilities without a word of thanks. He shouldn't have had to carry that burden by himself for so long...It wasn't fair to him at all."

Dean's eyes watered. "Dad..."

"I didn't mean for this happen. Hell, I never wanted this to happen. Dean shouldn't have died! I should have been the one to..." He stopped himself from saying too much. "Anyways Sam. I'm so incredibly sorry. And you shouldn't have to suffer it alone. Even if it doesn't feel like it, we are a family. He was my son as he was your brother."

Sam didn't say anything, feeling a bit overwhelmed by his father's sudden confessions.

"Sammy...I'm really tired of fighting...I can't lose you too." Sam closed his eyes. "I lost Mary..."

"And Jessica..."

After Sam finally responded to him without accusations, John laughed.

"Now, we lost Dean. We're all that's left. We can't let that sick demon bastard take this family apart again. Not anymore." John gently placed a hand on top of Sam's bandaged wrists. "Can we agree on this?"

"Yeah..." Sam pressed his lips together and turned his gaze away. "Yeah..."

John grinned and reached over to squeeze Sam's shoulder lightly. "Great. Then we don't need to talk about this." There was an awkward atmosphere in the air. Neither were used to this amount of calmness and closeness. John decided that was enough and headed out the door. "Oh and Sam?"

"...Yeah?"

"I'm also...very proud of you, son. Really."

Sam flashed a weak smile. "Thanks."

John nodded and turned out the door before Sam stopped him. "Oh dad?"

"Yeah?"

"What were you confirming?"

John pursed his lips together. "Another time Sam. I promise."

Sounding like an insecure little boy, Sam earnestly asked, "Really? I mean really...really?"

John smirked. "Yes. Really. Now, you get some rest." He left the room and leaned on the wall, as he was also drained.

In the room, Dean fell back in a chair with a sigh of relief. "Whew. Boy, I swear that was the most tense and chick flick moment I have ever felt between you two." He grinned. "But sure as hell, it went okay. I don't believe it but it went okay." Dean admitted he was slightly jealous of Sam, being able to travel and be with his dad again. _Only when I'm dead._

Sam just stared at his bandaged arm, again in deep thought.

---------------------

A few days passed, and after much persuasion and reluctance, the doctor released Sam from the hospital. Sam felt guilty for having the even lie to his psychiatrist about their whole situation. But it was the only way to prove to the doctors he was ready.

They stepped out the hospital to see the truck sitting outside in the parking lot. John dug his hands into his pockets, shuffling his feet.

Sam gingerly asked. "Where's the Impala?"

"At Bobby's...But I guess...you can ride with me for now..." Dean jumped.

"What? Wait. Dad. No! Are you thinking about dumping the Impala?!"

Dean pointed his finger at his father. "Don't you DARE touch that car dad!"

John eyed Sam curiously.

"Dean would be furious! We can't trash the Impala! Dean loved the car!"

"Tell him Sam!" Dean stood behind Sam, backing him up.

"Well, what do you think we should do then?"

Sam scratched his head in deep thought. "Uhm...I'll fix it!"

John raised an eyebrow. "You?"

"Me." Sam smiled.

"Now Sammy. I know you're smart. But you don't know crap about mechanics! I would know. It's always been me and Dean fixing the cars!"

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'll learn!"

John started upright laughing.

"I'll learn!" Sam repeated.

"Took me at LEAST half a year to learn how to fix a car. With how banged up that car is, I'd like to see just how you're going to fix the damn thing."

Sam scratched his head again.

"I'll fix it for you son." Sam beamed a wide smile. "And since you're so protective of Dean's car, it's yours."

"Dad. I'm not 10 years old. You don't have to tell me... That was my intention from the beginning." Sam hopped in the huge truck. He shifted several times before finally being comfortable. He was so accustomed to the Impala's seats. It felt so different.

Dean sat quietly in the back seat. He was happy that Sam had saved his beloved car from being tolled away to some recycling junkyard. He was damn happy that his brother and dad were finally getting along again.

However, the effects of being ignored for the past week were finally beginning to take toll. Ever since Sam's attempted suicide, Dean had been unable to talk to Sam ever since. He had tried getting their attention many times during the days in the hospital. One time, he yelled from the top of his lungs at night but neither made any signs of hearing. He even tried touching Sam's wound again, only succeeding in falling through his body and causing his brother to whimper.

_Not once...Not once did he ever mention talking to me with dad. He didn't even try again._ He compelled himself to ground into reality. He needed to remind himself that he wasn't dreaming everything that happened. He wasn't being delusional. He had to or risk becoming insane from the lack of contact. Yet, he couldn't ignore the feeling of being unwanted. _Face it Dean. They're moving on. And there's nothing you can do but watch._

---------------------

After arriving at Bobby's place, John immediately started working on the Impala. Sam headed in a room to rest. As for Dean, he needed air, so to speak.

He walked among the junk. He had an urge to punch or trash or break something. But he knew very well he was incapable of doing any of that. Lying in the gravel and beneath the stars, he stared up in hopes of freeing his mind. Under the wide sky, he felt incredibly small.

_Don't be scared Dean._ His father's words rang clear in his head. His arms covered his eyes. He tossed and turned. Anxiety swelling.

Eventually, Dean became too restless and headed back. He strolled by the broken up Impala. _Oh baby. I can't believe I can't drive you anymore._ John was under the hood while Bobby handed tools to him.

He could hear the two babbling about how Sam was holding up behind him as he walked. Passed the piles the books and trash all around the room, Dean stood in front of the closed door. Dean could hear Sam talking. _Is someone else there?_ Dean entered Sam's room, a single bedroom.

"I still remember Dean." A chill ran down Dean's back and the sound of his name. "Dad doesn't know about it yet. But I still remember." Sam leaned on the back of the bed with the pillow propped up. He stared intently on the two scars on his wrists. Brushing his fingers lightly over the scars, he winced.

"Dad's been so worried all the time, I seem to never get to be alone. It's weird man...One moment we were working our butt's off trying to find the guy. Now he's always on my tail...Not that I can blame him." Dean quietly sat at the edge of the bed, listening.

"You must be really mad about what I did."

Dean laughed softly. "Damn right I'm mad...!"

His large hands gently pulled out a small can from his jacket. Holding the can in his shaky hands, he rubbed the smooth metal surface. "I can't believe you're actually gone Dean."

_The ashes..._

"I know you tried Dean. I know you did." He pulled a knee up. "But god...I swear...I hate you for leaving...I mean...heh...dying on me."

... _I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears.  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave.  
'Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone_...

Dean twirled his tongue in his mouth, running it over his teeth.

"I hope I'm not just being crazy here but if you're really here, you better listen good dumbass." Dean listened. "I really hope I'm not crazy."

Dean chuckled. "Yeah. You and me..."

... _These wounds won't seem to heal.  
This pain is just too real.  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_...

"I don't...understand why you are still here. I mean how could you be still here?" Sigh. "But I'm glad. You know. I'm glad you're still here."

"I'm sorry for always being an ass and worrying you all the time. And uh. You probably didn't know but sometimes, I do hear you at night...crying."

Shocked, Dean spun around. Elbows rested on his knees. He rubbed his face. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

... _When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_...

"You held up this family. And I think...I think I have to do that now. For dad. Hell, did you see it when dad was apologizing for everything in the hospital? I thought I was going to explode! I was so scared he would bawl out! That would have been, just too weird. And I have to admit, it's kind of nice to talk without sparks flying between us. But without you...it's weird too..."

Dean shook his head and laughed sarcastically. He wasn't forgotten.

"You've always put up a face in front of me, and gosh I was just dead on tired of it. But I knew talking to you wouldn't make you creep out of your shell. But, it's different now right?" Sam remembered his brother's tear stained face. Dean's green eyes gape at him helplessly. That moment, although exhausted, Sam regretted cutting his arm.

... _You used to captivate me by your resonating life.  
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind.  
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams.  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_...

"No need to put up faces in front of each other, right...?" Sam wiped his eyes with a sleeve.

"If I told dad about you, he'd just think I'm under some kind of depression relapse. Again, I don't really blame him."

"Dean...I need some kind of sign. I'm not going crazy right?" Hugging the metal can, he hid his face under his mob of hair. A sob escaped.

... _I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along_...

Dean ran around the room, trying his hardest to trash the entire room down. However, in Sam's hears, the room rang silent. Dead silence. Sam cried.

---------------------

"So John, where do you plan to go from here?" Bobby handed John a monkey wrench.

John took the tool. "Probably see Missouri. I'm not sure why, but she insisted on me going there afterwards. And after she saved my son's life, I'm kind of obliged to listen."

"Will Sam be alright?"

"Yeah...I think he'll be okay...He's more like Dean than I would have imagined. He'll make it through."

"But you know those boys were close."

"I know."

"What about you John? Will you be alright?"

"...Yeah. I think so."

"Are you going to tell Sam?"

A metal clank sounded underneath the car. "Dammit!"

"John...You know you got to tell him. He can't handle anymore secrets from you...from anyone."

"Can he handle any more surprises, period? I don't know man. I...I have to think about it."

Bobby shook his head. "I'm telling you, you can't keep it from him."

---------------------

Out of nowhere, a gust of wind blew into the room. Sam's head popped up and the scene he saw was simply awkward. Nothing in the room was moving. Yet, the intensity of the wind should have caused a mess. Papers flew. Pages ripped out of books. Debris blinded his sight. Nothing.

Sam looked around frantically, confused. This isn't Dean...! He hid the metal can back in his jacket pocket and waited to see if the wind would calm down. "What the hell..."

Dean stopped to see what Sam was doing. Sam was scared. Dean waved his hand in front of Sam but Sam made no reaction.

---------------------

_I finished all the Season 1 DVDs! Dammit, I wanted to watch an episode per day but that didn't work out very well. I will forever remember the Christmas of 2006 for Supernatural goodness!_

_This chapter...I swear it was the most difficult out of all the chapters so far. It's surprising how delicate it is to not get OOC. It sounds like Sam has two different personalities when talking with John and Dean, huh? Some action in the upcoming chapter!_

_Love to hear your opinions! Like always!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long wait guys!! I've been busy with this thing and another and sometimes I just put off writing. Omg I swear to myself I would finish this fic and I will!! WATCH ME! Enjoy!!

A small warning: It gets a little touchy in this chapter (not between brothers, but demon) so just beware.

Thanks a lot to the wonderful reviewers!!

Pippin1984: I know. I know. Even in the series, seeing John's body burn hurts. :( But these characters have such a crazy twisted life, I can't help but make it angst-full. I try my best to ease Dean's death into the story but it's just going to be depressing to all our Dean-fans. Thanks a lot for your feedbacks!

ShadowHunter Mashell: Well I'm sorry I couldn't follow up on the "update soon" thing. –laughs- I really need to find time to write this fic. It deserves more. :(

wcfan: OOC means out of character. And yes! When the Season 2 DVDs come out, I'm DEFINITELY getting them!

Harper's Pixie: Well, the ashes worked in the series. It worked well into this fic as well, don't you think? –laughs- "My Immortal" just spoke "PUT IT IN YOUR FIC" so there it is. :D Strange how it happens. Great to hear it worked though!

AimesLuvsTheMetallicar: Again, same comment as ShadowHunter Mashell, sorry about not following up on the "asap" thing. Time is such a evil thing. I can never keep up. –hides in the corner-

Ryla Dante: You must have been eating a lot of popcorn by time I'm back with this fic. –feels terrible- Sooorryy! The secret will be revealed in the later chapter! You just got to tune in for this chapter for now! –smirks-

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Dean didn't know what had happened. One moment Sam was holding Dean's ashes and talking to him. Then the next, Sam sudden sat up alert about something that apparently wasn't there. Sam eyed the closet across the room intently. Either Sam was seeing things Dean can't or his little brother was becoming delusional.

"Dude. There's nothing there...What's wrong with you?" Dean sauntered towards the closet and waved his hand in the air. "Nope. Nuthin'. What the hell you staring at?"

Sam groaned as his vision became a blur and a migraine erupted like a thousand volts in his head. He held his head in his palms, rubbing. The throbbing in head was like extremely loud drumming. "A...Vision?" As minutes pass, the headache became more and more intense. He couldn't quite make out the image appearing in his mind. _No. Something's different..._ Sam fought to keep consciousness but he eventually gave into the pain.

Worriedly, Dean ran over as Sam's body became limp, repeatedly calling Sam's name. He cradled Sam's head in his arm the best he could, whispering a prayer that he'd wake up. "Sam! Sam! What's wrong! Wake up!"

Dean couldn't believe how many times Sam had fainted on him already; one time at the hospital, another time at the motel, now this. Dean cursed himself for letting this happen.

After about 15 minutes passed, John and Bobby eventually found Sam. John was most frantic of all. If Bobby had not assured him that Sam was breathing and otherwise fine, John would have broken down all over again.

Bobby thought to himself. _It's tiring picking up after the pieces of the broken Winchester family._

John tucked Sam into the bed and began inspecting for any injuries.

Bobby slapped John on the back comfortingly. "He's probably just tired. A lot had happened."

"...No injuries."

"He probably just fainted from exhaustion."

"No sign of demon breaking in..."

"JOHN!"

"WHAT?!" John twirled around from the bed, facing Bobby.

"You need to relax."

"Look. The demon is out to get my son. I'm not taking any chances."

"He's safe. I salted all the doors and windows."

"That didn't stop him before."

"Sam's okay. Just trust that would you?"

Frustrated and weary, John walked straight to Bobby's face, yelling, "One of my children is dead already! Can you blame me for being just a little cautious? Stop treating me like I'm crazy because I'm NOT! And I don't need your sympathy!"

Bobby's expression did not change. He took in everything John said, quietly.

John stepped back and rubbed his chin, thinking back on his words. Shaking his head, he realized Bobby was just worried. He was tired of pushing his friends away. "I didn't mean to come on so strong." John turned back. "Sorry."

"Yeah. But you really need to relax John. Really. I'm sure it's nothing. You're tired. Sam's tired. It's just how it is."

"You're...probably right." John headed towards the door, following Bobby. He turned to take a glance at his son. "You'll be alright." Gently closing the door behind him, the two left the room.

Meanwhile, Dean hovered over Sam's bed in deep thought. It was easier to believe that Sam was just feeling overwhelmed again. But a feeling deep down in his stomach told Dean something was not right, especially with what he saw before Sam feel into unconsciousness. Yet, he could not figure out what was going on.

_Okay. It must be a demon. _He made a quick glance over his brother to make sure he was okay. He noted that Sam's face appeared quite peaceful, which was strange because there had not been a night where Sam slept well ever since...his death. _I wish I could just believe that you were dreaming of lollypops and candy canes._ He smirked, recalling that conversation.

His smile dropped into a frown. The thought of not being to have those kinds of light, joking moments with his brother again somehow pained him.

Unconsciously, his hands somehow ended up airing over Sam's angelic face. Cupping Sam's check, his fingers began tracing Sam's jaw line, down his chin, and up to his lips.

_What the hell? _Dean retreated his hands, curling his fingers into a tight fist. _What am I doing?_

Dean rubbed his face in frustration. His gesture at first was a little more intimate than it really should have been. _What the fuck is wrong with me? _He plopped on the chair beside the bed, exasperated. He leaned backwards and stared at the ceiling, unwilling to even look at his brother.

_All right, focus Dean. We'll just pretend that never happened. _His eyes turned to Sam. _There are more important things. _His hands inched over towards Sam's arm.

Hesitant at first, he finally willed himself to actually touch Sam this time.

Dean felt a jolt course through himself. Closing his eyes, he suddenly found himself in a dark, enclosed room. At the corner of a wall, Sam was backing up as a naked woman with bat wings approached him. Her dark curls tossed as she skipped over.

"You seem so delicious..." She tiptoed to licked Sam's ear. "I just want to eat you." She began trailing little kisses down his neckline.

Without thinking, Dean charged over. "HEY!"

She turned around, very surprised. Backing to the opposite side of the room, she stared at Dean angrily. "What are you doing here?"

Sam slid down, head hanging over. Dean ran over, clutching Sam's shoulder and shaking him. _I can touch him? _"Sam. Sam! What's wrong?"

"You shouldn't carelessly jump into people's dreams like that. Spirits aren't meant to do that…" She lifted a finger to her lips. "If their host's dreams are too violent..." She grinned seductively. "They can break."

"What did you do to him?!"

"He's not waking up if that's what you're wondering. It's your fault really. You interrupted me in my meal." Laughing, she stuck her tongue out teasingly.

_A succubus... _"Hah. But I know your kind only drug your victims to get them to do what you want. He'll wake up soon enough."

"Oh...We have a scholar here do we?"

"Oh gee lady. Believe me, I'm the furthest thing from a scholar."

"Yeah...this kid was a fighter. But he's too tasty to pass up. His abilities makes him...so scrumptious to a demon like me."

He stood protectively in front of his brother. "You better get out of here quick."

"No can do. This kid's mine." She inched forward, stretching her black wings. "You do know you're no threat to me, right?"

"You're not getting any closer to him."

Dean's body was suddenly tossed carelessly over to the right wall. His shoulder blades felt crushed, as if he was human again. He grunted and peeked at the ground, seeing the succubus's bare feet.

"A spirit is as fragile as a glass rose in a dream where a succubus is in control. You should know that." She leaned down and whispered in his ear. "If you really want to, you can watch."

Dean grimaced, feeling incredibly sick. He tried lifting his finger but nothing happened. He had not control over his body. "You're twisted."

She smiled and stood up, heading over Sam's body. "Sam? Sam, wake up honey..." Sam stirred and his eyes slowly opened. "Who's that boy over there?"

Sam lifted his head over to see. "Dean...My brother..." A small tear slipped out. "Gone."

"Oh? Well, this should be even more interesting."

Dean weakly muttered, "Sam...Snap out of it..."

The succubus slipped her fingers into Sam's soft brown hair as Sam's large hands held her shoulders. She hungrily crashed her lips onto Sam's. Sam's lips parted willingly as the succubus explored his mouth with her tongue. Saliva trailing her mouth as she continued tonguing Sam. "Mmmm..."

Dean wanted to shut himself from everything but he could not bring himself to tear away. "Stop it..." The point of becoming a spirit was to protect Sam. Not watch him die.

She finally backed off. Her hands reached underneath Sam's shirt, massaging the muscles underneath. "Oo...You're muscular..." Her hands trailed downward until it stopped at his belt. She spun to smile at Dean before continuing. Experienced hands began unbuckling the belt.

_No...No... _Dean's lungs tightened against his chest until he felt like he couldn't breath. He promised himself not to let this happen. He swore to protect his brother. Yet here he was, strapped down by the succubus's powers, and powerless to do anything. He summoned all his strength to wake his brother. "SAM!!!"

The succubus whirled off, thrown to the side. She held onto the side of her arm and shot a glare at Dean. Her eyes fired. "So the brother had a double edged sword huh?"

Confused at what just happened but satisfied that he had the succubus's attention, he stared back as confidently as he could. Still, he was pinned down with nowhere to go.

"You're just asking to die huh? Oh wait. I mean destroyed...Seeing as how you're dead already."

Dean sat silently.

"Too bad." She jumped back on top of Sam's legs, hurriedly unzipped the jeans, and pulled the pants down to reveal Sam's boxers.

Dean clenched his hands. "Get the fuck away from him, you bitch!"

"Dean..." Dean's head shot over to see Sam staring right at him, life slowly showing in Sam's eyes again. "Dean..."

Earnest to receive a response, Dean called back. "Sam! It's me! Wake up!"

The succubus's mouth opened in protest. "Shut up!" She held Sam's arms down and, again, began kissing down his neck.

Dean continued calling his brother out. He knew Sam could pull through.

"Get off me, you scumbag!" Sam shoved the succubus off and quickly pulled his pants back on. He clumsily ran over to Dean, as the drug hadn't wear off completely.

He kneeled down next to Dean and held firmly onto Dean's arms. Sam didn't say anything and just stared. Out of nowhere, a hole seemed to be sucking the succubus in.

"No no! This is impossible! You can't kick me out! No!" She screamed as one wing was sucked in, then her entire body as well.

The room became heavy and silent. Both brothers felt tense, too scared or nervous to utter a single word.

After what felt like hours, Dean finally broke the silence. "Dude, say something."

Sam swallowed. "If I say something, will you disappear like last time?"

Dean rolled eyes. "Come on. That's ridiculous." Sam didn't say anything again. Dean waited.

"Dad is fixing the Impala."

"Yeah. I know. I hear she's being passed onto you." Dean said in a throaty voice. "Better take care of her."

"You know I will."

"Yeah..." Again, there was a moment of silence. Sam's head dropped. Dean tilted his head to see Sam's face but out of nowhere, Sam pounced forward to wrap his arms around his brother.

"Woah woah woah. What do you think you're doing?" Sam didn't say anything and just dug his chin into Dean's shoulder. Dean's hands waved in the air, feeling inept at first. But they eventually landed on Sam's back. They stayed like that.

**---------------------**

John glanced over several books in Bobby's piles of junk. "Bobby. You got some crazy stuff in hear. I'd love to read more of these stuff."

Bobby lingered over to John's side. "John. I told you to relax. Not bury yourself in more supernatural crap."

"Well I don't see any other good romance novels you have here to calm me down so these will have to do." John laughed.

Bobby shrugged and headed over to the kitchen. "I was going for sleeping but whatever." John rested his chin on his palms as he continued reading, busying himself with something besides worrying about Sam.

Bobby grabbed two bottles of beer out of the fridge and stared out the window in the tiny kitchen. A transparent figure flew by and into the sky. He couldn't make out what it was and dashed over toJohn. He stopped in his footsteps. Did he really want to trouble John with this?

"What is it?" Bobby looked up at John. "Bobby, what is it?"

"It's...nothing. Here's your beer." He handed the beer bottle over and stepped out of the house to inspect the area. _I guess if it was heading away...there shouldn't be anything wrong._

**---------------------**

Still hugging, Sam spoke. "This is a dream right?"

"Right...?"

"So when I wake up, I can't see you anymore huh?"

"Guess so."

"How did I see you last two times?"

_Last two times? Wasn't it three? _Then Dean recalled that the first time, Sam was still in shock over his death. He probably wasn't even fully conscious that time. "I don't' know. I just know the second time you were..." Dean bit his lip. "Close to death. So...Closer to me...I guess."

Sam's eyes drooped, becoming more and more comfortable in Dean's arms. "It sounds easier just to stay in the dream."

Dean's head turned towards Sam's direction. "Huh?"

"To not deal with the demon and revenge...to be in control of my life...to not have to hunt anymore...to not have to deal with responsibility...to see you again...I don't know." Sam sighed. "It sounds so much easier."

To be honest, Dean couldn't agree more. It was tiresome dealing with being invisible to everyone, keeping himself in check every day so he doesn't become insane, and watch his family go on. But he knew saying those things would be selfish and wrong for Sam, who was still alive. He couldn't fight the feeling of liking to feel like flesh and bones again. But there was only one option. "Sam. You know you can't stay."Sam hugged tighter. "Would you let me stay?"

Sam sighed again. "I knew you would say that."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"If you said something I didn't expect... that I should stay, I would have."

Dean pushed Sam off and looked at him funny. "What kind of logic is that?"

Sam gave his dopey grin for a second. Dean missed that. "Could you jump into my dreams like this again?"

"Honestly..." Dean chewed on his tongue lightly. "I don't think so."

Sam's eyes popped. "Why not?"

"Dreams aren't powerful. I was only able to come in because the succubus amplified the opening."

"No..." Sam couldn't take this anymore. "I hate this whole thing! You're here...but I can't see you. I can't talk to you. I can't hear you. I can't feel you. Why are you even here?!"

Stunned by those words, Dean stared off into space, away from Sam's eyes.

Sam could see the tearing in Dean's eyes and suddenly felt utterly guilty. Although about to apologize, Sam felt a strange sensation in his body. He was being called. _No. No. Not yet. Dean!_

Dean felt it too. He was being forced out. He gave Sam one last look.

Sam recognized Dean's pained look. There was a pang in his chest. But it was too late to say anything more.

**---------------------**

"Sam! Wake up!" Bobby eagerly shook Sam's arm.

Before he knew it, Dean was back next to Sam. He took advantage that Sam was not fully awake yet to run out of the room.

Sam turned a few times before remembering the dream. He jumped up and brought his hands to his face, feeling a sudden wetness. "Dean..." He threw off the blankets and screamed frantically. "DEAN! DEAN! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

Bobby restrained Sam's flailing arms and slowly forced Sam down to the floor.

John was immediately at the door to see what was going on. "What happened?!"

"I was worried so I woke him up to make sure everything was alright." He rubbed Sam's back soothingly. "But when he woke up, he started crying..."

"Don't go..." Sam buried his head into Bobby's shirt.

---------------------

_Sorry if this chapter has a few loose ends. I'm planning to explain things more in the next chapter. Again, I apologize for the LONG hiatus. I'd make more excuses but...You know._

_So what you think? I haven't touched the fic in a while so I'm wondering how it turned out. A little worried? Yeah..._


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Again, I'm sorry for another hiatus. I do hope I don't continue to update as slow as this. For all those who continue to read with full patience, you have my full gratitude!!! Thanks faithful readers! -bows-

Thanks a lot to the wonderful reviewers!!

Death-Muncher, ShadowHunter Mashell, wcfan, Harper's Pixie, Ryla Dante

No time to leave notes this time But THANK YOU for your greatly appreciated comments!!

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"You mean Dean is here?"

Sam nodded slowly.

"You're positive?"

Sam signed and nodded again. "Yeah. I'm sure."

John paced back and forth. "Why is he still here?"

_Because he's worried about us..._ "..."

"Sam?"

_He is not at peace because of us._ "I don't know."

John rubbed his temples and turned to Sam again. "How'd you contact him?"

"I don't know."

"Where is he right now?"

"Don't know."

"What the hell?! You said you saw him!"

Bobby stepped in. "John. The boy says he doesn't know. Settle down."

John rolled his eyes in frustration. "My son is still out there! We need to find him!"

"Your son?" Sam stood up. "What am I then huh?"

John clenched his teeth. "You know what I mean."

"Oh really? You know what I think?" Sam towered over his father, glowering down at him. Tearing eyes staring straight into John's stern eyes. "Sometimes I think it means absolutely nothing to you that I'M alive while DEAN is dead."

John's eyebrows furrowed. "You know that's not true."

"Really? Is it? Because do enlighten me. I'm not so sure."

"Sam...Dean is dead. And both you and I know that neither one of us has gotten over his death." John held firmly on Sam's shoulder. "Maybe we never will. But Dean is here. He's still here. Don't you want to see your brother again? Don't you want Dean here again?"

Sam bit his lip and slowly nodded.

"I know. Me too. So, instead of being asses here, let's try to find Dean, okay?"

Sam nodded quickly again. John casually slapped Sam on the back and turned back to Bobby. "What can we do Bobby?"

Bobby rubbed his chin in thought. "We could summon Dean's spirit to us. That's the easiest and fastest way to go."

"How long will it take to set up?"

"I can get right on it."

"Great. Thanks."

John and Bobby began walking into the living room to start the preparations. "Dad?"

John stopped upon hearing Sam's voice.

"I know you care. And I'm...I'm..." Sam trailed off uncomfortably.

"It's alright Sam. I get it." John ran out.

Soon enough, Sam followed the two to help. _Dean...don't you dare go anywhere... _In the living room, he stopped. Outside, it had begun pouring. The forest nearby echoed a terrible yell. Sam ran out.

---------------------

In the middle of the quiet forest, Dean stood by himself, crying. _Why are you here?_ Dean dropped his head.

"_Why are you even here?_" Sam's words repeated over and over in his head. He quietly laughed to himself. _I don't know. Why am I here? _Something inside of him shattered.

He kicked the dirt on the floor, trying to contain his urge to hit something. _Shit... _He stared up into the stained sky so that his tears wouldn't fall. The vast expanse of the sky felt like a huge vacuum. It was swallowing him up.

"Just let me die!! Oh wait, heh. Right, I'm already dead!" He began yelling at the sky. "What the fuck is the point of me being here?!!"

"Reaper!! Where are you? Come out!!" No response. "Get your ass out right now!" No response. The forest was quiet. Even nature was not responding to him.

"I surrender..." He knelt down and covering his face. "I can't take this."

There was no one to hear him cry, no one to see his tears, no one to comfort him. It's not that bad right? He didn't have to hide under his armor anymore. In his bitterness, he was free to show weakness.

A twig crunched nearby and Dean shot up.

"Hello there, Dean." A pair of gleaming red eyes shone in the dark.

Dean recoiled back. "You are..."

The tall young man snickered and stepped out from the tree. He was around Dean's age, wearing casual slacks and a jeans jacket. But Dean knew underneath that person was a demon. Not the yellow-eyed demon his dad, Sam and he had been searching for, but a demon of similar rank. "Not exactly what you're expecting."

"What the hell are you doing here."

"Oh, I heard your cry of course." The handsome man trotted over towards Dean. "Sounded like you needed company."

"I don't need your company. Thanks."

"Oh don't act so tough." The demon brushed his hand over Dean's cheek. Dean flinched back after feeling someone's touch again. He wondered how the demon in the human body could touch him, a spirit. It was a great sensation to feel again.

But Dean refused to fall into the demon's grasp and immediately jumped back.

"What do you want you son of a bitch?" He was ready to fight.

Tilting his head, he slowly shook his head. "Tsk. Tsk. Mind your manners boy. I'm here to help."

"I think I'll pass up the offer."

He crossed his arms and snickered. "I suggest you shut up and listen a while boy."

Dean didn't say anything.

"Good." He grinned in satisfaction. "First of all, I'd like to congratulate you. You're dead!"

Dean was quiet.

"You're the cheery one."

"I have _nothing _to talk to you about."

"Hush boy." He listened closely. "Well I'll cut the crap then. Has daddy John told you his little discovery during his journey?"

"What are you talking about? Are you connected to the yellow-eyed demon?"

"He's a real bitch. We're at each other's throats all the time. But we compromised. Now answer the question."

"...I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ah. John is still being the rut taking all responsibility on himself eh." He laughed loudly. "You two are so alike, it's creepy." He bent down, staring Dean in the face. "Well I'll tell you then. Still wondering what the yellow-eyed demon meant by having plans for children like little Sammy?"

Dean smirked. "Sure you want to tell me the grand plan?"

"Well, couldn't do much harm anyhow. You can't really do anything anyhow."

Dean's hands tightened into a fist.

"So these psychic children, there's quite useful." The demon began walking in circles around Dean. "They are human, yes. And that is why they make such wonderful hosts for the demon minions."

"What?"

"They'll be the soldiers, the meat puppets for the war."

Dean observed him curiously. "So you're turning them evil..."

"Correct." He turned and gazed into the forest as if he was waiting for something. "Now Sammy here..."

"You're not getting Sam! I'll send every one of you back to the pits of hell before you lay a hand on him!"

"Yeah yeah...and just how do you plan to do that as a ghost? Hm? Per tell?"

Dean growled back. "Oh alive or dead, I'll have your asses, don't you worry." He ran in for a tackle but was pushed aside.

He let out an excruciating yell as he felt a thousand prickles around his body. He saw the yellow eyes staring at him intently. When the pain resided, he stared up defiantly. "You son of a..."

The demon held Dean's head to face him. "You can't even faze me. Don't get ahead of yourself." Dean felt like throwing up.

The demon's warm breathe tingled Dean's skin. "Now, let me finish up. Whether you like it or not, Sam is going to be part of this. Now you have the chance to change that."

Dean grunted.

"You can follow me and I promise that Sam is out of the fight."

"I thought you needed humans with powers? I'm no good to you. I'm dead and power-less."

"Intriguing enough, I thought so too. As a human, you were useless. But as a spirit, your innate powers sort of, how to put it, awakened."

"...What?" _The time with Sam's wound..._

"Now boy I pronounce you with the dilemma. The choice. Choose."

Dean's eyes met the floor. "How can you even consider asking me that..."

"Well, Sam's fate really lies in your hands. I'm just trying to help out." The demon sneered. Dean did not answer. How could he answer to something like that? Helping the demon he despised for so long and saving Sam? Isn't that betraying his family?

"DEAN!!" Sam's voice interrupted the silence. "DEAN!! Where are you?!"

"Sam!" Dean turned over to where he heard Sam. _God no...Don't come..._

The red-eyed demon flashed a smile and got up. "Maybe this will change your mind." He slipped into the shadows behind the trees.

_Go away Sam!_

Panting, Sam arrived at the scene, inspecting the surroundings. "Where are you Dean?" His hair was damp on his skin. His clothes were soaked. It didn't seem to bother him much. "Dean..."

The black haired man peeked out from behind a tree and cautiously approached Sam. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

_It's not Dean. _"Oh. Uhm. I thought I heard someone screaming and...well...I came out because I thought it was someone..."

"You hear all kinds of things in this forest. It's mysterious really."

"Oh..." There was a moment of silence between the two boys. The rain stopped.

The boy flashed him a smirk. "I'm Alex. You?"

"Sam." Sam scratched his head. "Crap. Where the heck are we? I was in such a hurry I didn't realize where I was going..."

Alex waved his hands happily. "I know this forest really well! I can help you out!"

Sam felt relieved. "Great! God, it would suck if I got lost in here." He and Alex began walking side-by-side into the darkness of the forest.

Dean staggered along. _I need to keep up..._

"So why are you in the forest so late at night?" Sam inquired.

"The forest is like my home." Alex dug his hands into his pockets. All his clothes were soaking wet, showing he had been out for a while. "I feel comfortable here. I come here to think. I know it's a creepy place but...is that strange?" He turned curiously to see Sam's reaction.

Raindrops trickled down Alex's cheeks. Sam met a pair of beautiful emerald green eyes that shone in the moonlight. _Like Dean's..._

Alex's head sank down between his shoulders. "It is a little weird huh?"

Sam shook his head eagerly. "Not at all. I can...sort of see how this place could be homey. It's quiet." He looked up into the blue sky. "Though the trees' black shadow's ARE a bit creepy. Haha..."

Alex laughed.

_His voice is deep like Dean's too._ Sam hated seeing little parts of Dean in this man next to him. He felt terrible. But he could not help but notice those little similarities, and an overwhelming nostalgia came over him.

"Who did you think that scream was? Not to be nosy but just curious. S'alright if you don't want to tell me." Alex watched Sam's reaction from the corner of his eye.

"Geez there are a lot of bugs here." Sam slapped a mosquito on his neck.

"Heh." Alex shrugged. "I get it."

Sam turned to him again. "Get what?"

"..."

"I don't get it."

Alex sighed. "Did you hear what I was asking you?"

"Not really..." Sam admitted.

Alex smacked Sam teasingly on the head. "Are you always this air headed?!"

Sam was ever more confused. "W-What?"

"I SAID, who did you think was screaming? Or like, who were you expecting?"

Sam rolled his tongue in his mouth, not sure whether he wanted to reply. "Uh..."

"Someone special?"

"Yeah. I guess you can say that." _Dean would laugh at something so cheesy._

"Thought so." Alex picked up a random stick and began swinging it around. "I'm actually looking for someone too. Or rather...some people."

"Really? Why?"

"They're special to me too. Is it wrong to find people that are important to you?"

Sam didn't understand why this man was asking him this. "I don't see anything wrong. Is someone telling you otherwise?"

Alex glanced behind him. "Yup."

"Don't let it get to you."

"Got that right." Alex squeezed Sam's shoulder. "Can't let it get to us." Sam nodded. Alex gave Sam a look over. "You're incredibly tall you know that?"

Sam grinned proudly. "I had a crazy growth spurt."

"You're like a overgrown stalk."

"Gee thanks."

"You're welcome."

Sam felt uncomfortably comfortable with Alex. Deep down, he was scared that the only reason he liked Alex's company was because he was in little ways, like Dean. However, he ignored the feeling.

In back of the two, Dean wordlessly trailed along, listening to their joking banter.

---------------------

_I had a completely different plan for this fic. But as I was writing the idea just struck me! I never even thought about bringing the demon into this fic! But this fic IS a twist of the original story, so it makes sense. What a strange twist! I'm excited! –runs off for paper to brainstorm-_


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